The pursuit of happiness

If we begin with analyzing our society, we'll discover, that we all have some kind of need, of not taking full responsibility for our own happiness. We expect our happiness, to be controlled by something outside of us. We are not wrong – it certainly can, but it's not real. True happiness comes from within – and I know, this is such a cliché, you've heard a billion times before, but hold on anyway.

Imagine, that your happiness depended on another person. It could be your friend, a family member or your lover. You share each others dreams and you are depended on each other, when it comes to future plans and so on. But something tragic happens – some kind of separation. It's obviously normal to end completely devastated and experience a grief beyond measure when you lose someone you love – but how are you going to survive, if all of your happiness was connected to exactly this person?

The same could happen in the materialistic world. We are easily putting all of our happiness on our possessions, our home, our brand new car or a job, we think, are what we truly wants – and we are still not happy.

I've already spent too much of my life, living in the shadow of the superfluous happiness. The shadow followed me everywhere. It started, when I was very young. I was searching for acceptance. I was during foolish things, trying to fit it. I thought, that the things I was searching for, would bring me some kind of happiness. But I never actually felt truly happy. When I got older, I was still in the search for happiness. My belief was “When I accomplish this... When I get this... When I do that... Then I'll finally be happy"

I've been spending too many days, waiting on things to happen, so I could finally experience that happiness, I was longing for.

Luckily that's a long time ago and I'm still young and I'm deeply thankful, that I've already realized this. Consider how many people, who's spending most of their lives, trying to convince themselves, that happiness comes from everywhere else than from themselves. Those who have been searching for happiness in work, expensive interior, relationships or kids.

Luckily I've realized, that my happiness isn't hidden in things or people or the society's definition of happiness and success. I've always had the opportunity to feel happy; I just never knew. I realized it, when I was able to accept myself fully, for who I was.

I realized, that I didn't have to edit in who I was. I was able, to look at my reflection and see perfection in all of my imperfections. I was able to attend social gatherings and be okay, with just sitting still and not necessarily say something. I learned, to not worry about others opinion of me. I was – I am – okay, with just being me. Sometimes I find myself just sitting still, breathing deeply and observe – even in social gatherings. These moments allow me, to appreciate and be thankful for everything, that is happening around me. And you know what? I feel complete.

We all believe in a happiness, that doesn't exist. We are searching for happiness in a variety of ways – but never truly finds it, in that extent we are looking for.

You've probably never thought, you would hear this from me; But sometimes happiness actually can happen through materialistic things. “When I get this car or these shoes or that job, then I'll be happy” And you will – for a while. You'll get the job and you'll arrive in your brand new car, with your new shiny shoes. Your life is perfect. It actually couldn't be much better. But suddenly the company, you are working for, are going bankrupt. You can't afford your car anymore, you're forced to sell your home and you don't have anywhere, you can wear your new shiny shoes. Urgh!

And will you still be happy? Well, not if you have connected all of your happiness to these things.

But let's say, that you already did find true happiness and was already happy and satisfied with your life – and then you'll get your dreamjob. Will you be happier?

Obviously you'll feel more satisfied, confident and joyful – but not happier. 

Because your inner happiness was already complete.

And you might still wonder, if some of your happiness would disappear, if you lost your job – even though you were happy before. The answer is no. Of course you'll be disappointed and upset, but you won't lose your happiness, because it's already complete.

Your happiness can't come from the outside of you. It has and must come from within. When you are able to realize, that your happiness is already inside of you, a burden will be released from your shoulders, because you no longer feel controlled by your ego's need for more.

It's important to know, that real happiness doesn't always feel wonderful. Real happiness isn't identified with jumping rope through a flower field, at sunset, without a care in the world. You will have bad days. There will be days, you have to dig really deep, to find a little piece of happiness. You will still feel overwhelmed by the ordinary life and daily routines and sometimes, you'll look out the horizon and wonder, what's hiding out there. But that's all okay. Happiness doesn't have to look like a fairytale. Happiness is purely the realization that life is perfect, just as it is.

The more you practice this, those bad days of yours won't last that long and you won't go out, searching for your lost happiness, because you already know, where you can find it. In yourself.

There's a meaning with you being here and living exactly this life, you're living.

You will experience real happiness, when you allow yourself to be satisfied with yourself, when you find thankfulness in all the beauty that exists in your world and when you know, that those people and things that exists in your life, not have any power over you. You are the only master for your happiness.

You are already complete. When you realize this, you'll find happiness, in all that you do.