Are you in love with the idea of love?

A mature person does not fall in love, but rises in love. The word 'fall' is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. They cannot manage and they cannot stand — they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don't have the backbone, the spine; they don't have that integrity to stand alone.

It's a terrible thought, isn't it?

When that little voice inside of your head, questioning whether you are truly in love or just in love with the idea.

You will obviously reject it the first couple of times ”Yes! Yes, of course I love him”. But how can you tell the difference?

But then again – is it really such crime? You want somebody, you can love – so what?

When you are in love with love, then you will be in the relationship because of all it's benefits. You avoid yourself from all the difficult aspects of the relationship. By avoiding, I mean that you're not handling the difficulties or taking care of them in a respectful and healthy way. Your fantasies and your ideas of being with this person, revolves about what he makes you feel, what he does, what he says and how wonderful it is for you.

To be clear; you're not truly interested in the person, as much you are interested in what he can do for you or what he can give you.

When you are in love with someone, you want exactly this person – everything. The good, the bad, the ugly.

You are as accepting and open-minded, as you can possibly be. You do not want to change him. You're not dreaming of the day, when he finally ”puts himself together” or when he finally tells you, you are the woman who saved him and made everything seem so clear to him. You are not superior over him. You don't think his passions or interests is a waste of time. You admire him. You support him and his choices.

When you are in love with the actual person, you are spending more time, dreaming about your next date, than you are dreaming about a better future. Because when you are in love with the person, it means he's making you insanely happy right now. Just as he is.

You love him with no strings attached. You help him to become more free and you don't feel the need to dominate. How can you even think of dominating a person you love? Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you'd want to give him more individuality. When two people love each other unconditionally, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens; They are together and yet alone: They are together so much as they are almost one, a team, but that oneness does not destroy their individualities; their individualities have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.

When people are together, solely because of the idea, they are falling in love destroying each other's freedom, creates a bondage, makes a prison. But those, who are truly in love with each other, help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bandages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.

Do not settle with someone who happens to got all the qualities, you think, you find lovable and interesting. Be with someone you truly wants to resolve all problems with, someone you want to face all the fearful falls with, someone you will fight for, someone you love exactly how he is right now, someone you don't lay all of your expectations to, someone who makes you happy – completely as he is.

But then again – I think we all can agree, that being in love, is the sweetest pain there is.